


Stawberry Jam

by Jaamesbbarnes



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Burglary, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 03:14:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16884594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaamesbbarnes/pseuds/Jaamesbbarnes
Summary: When your Brooklyn apartment gets robbed, you’re forced to ask for help to your neighbor whom you barely know, for now.





	1. Chapter 1

The heavy sigh of relief you let out when you stepped in your elevator to slouch against the opposite wall was anything but human. This must have been the longest week of your life and it was only Wednesday. Thank god your boss allowed you to work from home from time to time and you would totally use that opportunity tomorrow morning to sleep in a little and enjoy working from your bed with your coffee and without starting the day being stuck between a smelly business man and the subway door. You yawned, already planning to take the longest hot shower in the history and binge-watch whatever show you were currently watching while eating last night leftovers.

When the familiar ‘ding’ rang in your ears, you pulled yourself up the best you could and stepped out of the elevator. As usual, your eyes were automatically drawn to the first door on your left and you pricked up your ears. It was as silent as always and you started to wonder if Captain America and his best friend always lived like spies on a mission or if they were simply never home. 

From what you would tell, Steve Rogers was really nice. You had met him a few times in the elevator or when you were picking up your mail. He was exactly like you pictured him: polite, smiling, quite easy to talk to.

It had been a few months since they had both moved in your building, looking for a somewhat normal life yet Steve was the only one you had actually exchanged with. Indeed, it seemed like Bucky had difficulties saying more than “good morning” to people he didn’t know. How could you blame him, though? The poor man had been through a lot and it probably was quite unsettling for him to get on with his life. 

So you always made sure to never push or force conversation, nor to get upset when he quickly looked away from you at each eye-contact. You simply smiled. A few weeks ago he started to smile back at you. It wasn’t as big and communicative as Steve’s smiles. But it was sincere and warm and never failed to make your lips curl up a little higher.

You smiled to yourself, shaking your head as you looked away from their door and walked in the opposite direction of the hallway for you own apartment. You could feel your tension melting away with each step. After rummaging through your bag, you found the key and pulled it out in victory. But, as your eyes fell on the lock, your blood turned cold. 

The door was left ajar after obviously having been forced open. With a shaky hand, you slowly pushed the door open and a choked up gasp escaped your lips as were met with the most dreadful and unexpected sight. Your living room was completely trashed. Every item was turned upside down, every drawer was open and empty. Everything you owned was on the floor.

Your eyes scanned the room from where you were standing outside and, from what you could see, the open kitchen seemed to be in the same miserable state. You felt tears rushing to your eyes and the sudden fear that someone was still in there started to make you shake. 

Thankfully, your legs seemed to still be able to carry you and you took a few steps back. Dropping your work bag (thank god you had your laptop with you) near the elevator, you did not think much before rushing to Steve’s apartment and knock on the door. Your heart was beating erratically and you prayed for him to be home as you were desperately trying to calm down your shaky hands.

Bucky had came back from the tower about half an hour before. After a whole morning of training and a very long meeting with the team for their upcoming mission, all the former soldier was dreaming of was indulging himself with the entire content of his fridge and sleep until the next morning. Or at least try to get a few hours of dreamless sleep. Because, since Steve had left two days ago for a mission, his nightmares seemed to have decided to strike him hard. Which was why he had hoped an exhausting day like today would help him sleep mindlessly.

Bucky took his second shower of the day as soon as he got home, changed into comfortable sweats and was had been staring at the fridge for a solid minute when he had heard the elevator. 

You were home. 

Bucky couldn’t help but smile to himself when he pictured you. You who offered him the most genuine smiles he had ever been addressed since so long ago he couldn’t remember when it was. Holding his breath, Bucky stood still, waiting to hear what show you’d watch tonight so he could turn on Netflix and watch the same, making him feel less alone even if an elevator and several walls were separating you. 

After another couple minutes, Bucky frowned when he didn’t hear your key turning into the lock. He waited but there was nothing. No key, no music, no tv, no phone call, no knife on the chopping board. Curious, he couldn’t help but close the fridge and walk towards the door just as he heard you knocking. 

The former soldier swore his heart leaped out of his throat in surprise, or maybe it was in anticipation? He knew it was you on the other side of the door and right now Steve wasn’t here, he couldn’t hide behind his friend like he did every time you came to ask if they had power or eggs.

Leaning closer to look through the peephole to make sure it was you, Bucky immediately noticed one thing: you were not smiling. Confusion seeped through Bucky’s veins when he noticed you seemed agitated. You entire body was shaking and he could hear how fast your heart was beating through the door. Fear. Bucky was too familiar with this feeling to lose one second before opening the door. 

Alert, his blue eyes immediately scanned your form and Bucky’s entire body twitched to pull you close to him despite his aversion for physical contact, the urge to comfort you was bugger than his at the tears in your eyes threatening to rush down your cheek any second now. Bucky felt a blinding rage building towards anyone or anything to dare make you lose that smile that always brightened his darkest days.

“Y/N?” the softness of his own vice surprised the brunet, but not as much as the delicious way your name tasted on his tongue. It was the first time he said it out loud. 

Relief washed over you when the door opened and Bucky’s form appeared in front of you. Right now you didn’t care that it wasn’t Steve or that you two never shared more than a simple greeting. Bucky looked impressive, protective, comforting. 

You almost didn’t even notice he knew your name. But the second you heard it, a choked sob escaped you again. Bucky tensed immediately when you placed your hand over you mouth and closed your eyes for a second before taking a deep breath to gather yourself. You looked back at him and the former soldier felt his heart clenching at your obvious distress.

“I’m… sorry. I don’t want to disturb you but…” you felt the knot in your throat tightening and took another deep breath. “Sorry,” you repeated, hating to make a spectacle of yourself in front of someone you barely didn’t even know. 

Bucky shook his head, “it’s alright, what’s going on?” he encouraged you, forcing himself to keep his arms along his form. 

You were both surprised by how gentle he sounded, how normal it was for him to worry about you. You cleared your throat and looked at your door that was left wide open, the sight causing you to shudder. 

“Someone broke into my place,” you said, your voice strangled. Bucky’s eyes widen and his entire body tensed. “I’m sorry. I know we don’t know each other but I’m afraid someone might still be inside,” you added, the thought of being face to face to a stranger in your apartment starting to make you feel dizzy.

Without thinking much, Bucky immediately stepped aside, gesturing for you to come inside. You stood still, confused. 

“Please, come in, I’ll go take a look,” he assured you, trying to mask his anger by keeping an even tone. 

You looked back at your apartment, then at Bucky and you knew it was the safest option. He was your safest option. If you stayed outside and the smuggler ran away, you’d have to face him. So you nodded and muttered a thank you before walking inside the apartment. 

Bucky closed the door as followed you with his eyes making your way to the living room and stood there, not really knowing what to do with yourself. 

“Please have a seat, I’ll be right back,” he smiled encouragingly at you. 

You nodded again and sat down on the edge of the sofa, knowing you were not in capacitation of doing anything on your own initiating at the moment. Once you were settled down, Bucky hurried to his room and picked one of his knives, his favorite one. He quickly flipped it in the air a couple times before tucking it in the waistband of his sweatpants and hiding it with his shirt.

Bucky walked back to the living room where you were studying the mess around. The former soldier had to admit, he wasn’t as neat as Steve was or as he was forced to be during his time with HYDRA. Lots of his books and notebooks were scattered all around the place instead of his bookshelves. His friend had never said anything about it, knowing if it was his way of feeling like home, that he could do as he wished. Even though was a concept Bucky hadn’t felt in decades but here, with his best friend in this small building in Brooklyn, it started to feel like it.

The brunet cleared his throat when he came back in the room, making you jump slightly and look up at him. 

“Stay put, I’ll be right back, okay?” Despite his firm tone, there was still an underlying softness that helped soothing your heart. 

You nodded and told him to be careful. He nodded as well and left the apartment, making sure the door was securely closed. He walked to your place, noticing your work bag you must have left here in the panic. It didn’t take him long to confirm that your apartment was empty. To his dismay, he didn’t even have to use his knife.

As he looked around, Bucky couldn’t help but feel helpless. He knew how it was to have your intimacy behind broken into. Someone had came here while you weren’t here and trashed your place, touched your belongings, stole your things. The former soldier knew the feelings too well: violation, shock, disbelief, anger, fear. His heart ached and throat tightened when flashbacks of his time in Siberia rushed to his mind and he shook his head, shutting his eyes closed. Now wasn’t the time. He sighed deeply and rubbed his temples before making his way back to his apartment.

You jumped back on your feet when you heard the door opening, looking for any answers on Bucky’s face. 

“Nobody was there,” he assured you, making you sigh in relief. 

“Thank you so much, for everything,” you said with a shaky voice but but your lips broke into a faint smile when you realized Bucky was actually talking to you and seemed concerned about you. 

He smiled back at you, shaking his head. “Please, it’s nothing. You need to call the police, you can wait for them here, if you want.” 

The prospect of having to wait in your trashed apartment wasn’t appealing at all to you so you didn’t even pretend to fight him and simply nodded. 

“Thank you,” you said, before pulling your phone out of your pocket.

It hadn’t taken long for the police to arrive. Apparently, there had been several burglaries in the area lately. The two officers took your deposition and helped you declare what had been stolen. Bucky had stayed right by your side the entire time. You didn’t ask but he didn’t seem to mind and you didn’t either since his presence seemed to make the officers work twice as thoroughly. Your blu-ray player, perfumes, jewelry, an old laptop apparently that was about it. You didn’t own much of valuable stuff and your tv was too big to steal it in broad daylight. 

You were grateful that Bucky stayed outside of your room while you were in your bedroom with the officers. The robbers went through your drawers, including your underwear drawers and they scattered everything in the room. You tried not to dwell too much on the fact that Bucky had probably seen everything when he checked the place was empty earlier.

You felt anger boiling in your veins when you thought about the fact that people had been there and went through your private life. They shamelessly touched your belongings and stole them. Everything you worked for. You tried to swallow the lump growing in your throat as you thanked the officers and walked them to the door, Bucky right behind you. 

“About the door,” one of the officer said, looking at you, “you should call your landlord to take care of it, it’s ruined.” His colleague nodded and you looked at the door in disbelief. 

“But it’s late, he won’t take care of it today,” you stated, knowing your landlord wasn’t the most reactive person. 

“The insurance company won’t cover it if you do it yourself. Is there anywhere you can go tonight?”

Your eyes widen as Bucky straightened his back. “I’m not going anywhere! I can’t lock the door! What if they come back?” you protested, wondering if these people thought before talking. 

“Miss, I think it’s better they come back when you’re not here than when you’re sleeping alone,” the female officer said more softly.

You looked at her and realized she had a point. You sighed deeply and opened your mouth to tell her that you could eventually call your colleague. 

“She won’t be alone, I’ll be there.” Bucky’s voice made you all turn in his direction. You couldn’t hide your surprise and he didn’t let you time to pretest before adding, “I’ll stay on the couch so I’m close to the door if anyone tries to come in.” 

He smiled reassuringly at you and right now you felt too tired to fight him. This was the safest option and you both knew it. You tiredly smiled at him.

“Thank you,” you said for what felt like the tenth time and he shrugged as if it was nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

Between the moment the officers had left and the moment you sat down at the kitchen table, everything had been kind of a blur. You had called your landlord and left a voicemail to explain the situation. Bucky helped you cleaning the living room and kitchen, fortunately nothing that was left was broken so it just consisted in putting everything in order. 

As you picked up the different items, it felt strange, almost as if they did not belong to you anymore. As if the fact that they had been touched by strangers while you weren’t there had stripped them down of their soul, of their history and the affectionate link you had with them.

Bucky had remained silent, only asking you where things were supposed to go or commenting on how nice he thought your book collection was. He also tried to relax the atmosphere by enumerating all the movies you owned that he had never seen. 

“Actually, I went to see this one,” he said, pointing at one of your DVDs. 

“Snow White?” you quirked a brow, unable to hide your amusement and surprise before remembering he was alive when the movie was first released. 

”My sister dragged Steve and I there,” he defended himself. 

You couldn’t help the soft that ran past your lips before he helped you putting your chairs back on their feet. You remained oblivious to the proud lopsided smile tugging at Bucky’s own lips to have make you laugh. 

Afterwards, you had cleaned up your room, putting all your clothes that had been touched by the burglars in the laundry basket. There was no way you could wear them right away. Bucky had had the decency to let you deal with your room alone, thinking it was too private to be here with but he did tell you he was right there if you needed it, keeping to himself the images of your undergarment his adverted eyes had noticed earlier to himself. 

As you had finally put everything into order, you noticed a delicious smell escaping from the kitchen. You followed your stomach and smiled softly when you saw Bucky looking through your cupboards to set the table as the timer rang.

“Plates are on your left,” you said, walking to him and opening the said cupboard. 

“Oh, thank you,” he chuckled, watching you take two plates and walking to the table to place them. 

Everything was ready, the only things missing were the food and you two. You sat down and realized it had been forever since you ate at the table and not on your couch while binging some Netflix. Bucky joined you, placing a large dish between the two of you and your mouth started to water when you saw the roasted potatoes. 

“Is that garlic butter?” you gasped, pointing at the little bowl he brought to the table, your genuine reaction bringing a proud smile to his lips.

“It’s the only thing I can cook. Well, that and pancakes,” he admitted. 

A memory of him sitting on the kitchen counter while his mom cooked flashed through his mind. You smiled, feeling a overwhelming wave of gratitude washing over you and you couldn’t help but reach for his hand. Being right handed and him being across from you, you placed your hand over his left one and squeezed it softly. 

“I don’t know what to say except thank you. You really didn’t have to do that, I know we barely know each other.”

Bucky’s first instinct was to tense when he felt a shiver run up his spine. He wasn’t used to being touched so softly, or touched at all anymore. Your hand on his felt like it was burning every single artificial nerve of his metal arm and it took everything in him not to yank his hand away from you. Yet the warmth of your flesh creeping up his arm and spreading to his metal bones, making him melt so easily he was this close to take your hand too. 

The fondness and gratitude in your eyes made his heart skip a beat and he offered you a small smile. He cleared his throat “Of course, it’s nothing really,” he assured you. “And Steve speaks so highly of you, he’d kick my ass if he ever knew I didn’t do anything to help you,” he chuckled softly, his metal finger slowly warming up under your touch and he swore he could feel your warmth creeping up his entire body.

You smiled wider at him, just noticing now how you much you relaxed since you stepped into the room thanks to his reassuring presence. 

“Checking that the apartment was empty was helping. Cleaning, cooking and staying over so I don’t get murdered in my sleep is another level, I shall vouch for you so Steve doesn’t kick your ass” you smirked playfully. 

A heartfelt laughter ran past Bucky’s lips and you swore your felt your heart growing slightly too big for your chest when he scrunched his nose. You bit your bottom lip and quickly took your right hand back to cover your mouth and laughed as well. 

“I appreciate the vouching, thank you,” he said, flexing his metal hand feeling like your hand was still touching him. He took the large spoon and extended his other hand for you to give him your plate.

After introducing Bucky to another classic Disney movie that had not been released yet in the first half of the previous century, you felt fatigue hitting you hard. You tried to fight it because being on the couch with Bucky was more appealing that you large and empty bed. 

As strange as it was to so say, Bucky made you feel safe. His presence made you forget that people broke into your personal space. He made you forget that your door didn’t keep you from the outside anymore. Because he was there, nothing could happen to you. 

“You should go to sleep, you had an emotional day,” Bucky said, watching you try to muffle a yawn for the tenth time. 

You shook your head, “I’m not tired,” you lied, trying to focus on the screen but with how bad your eyes were burning right now, you couldn’t care less about what you were watching.

“Y/N, please go to bed. I promise I’m right here, nothing is gonna happen to you, doll, okay?” 

You didn’t know if it was the softness of his tone or the little pet name he threw in there as if it was the most natural thing in the world, but your felt your lips curling up into a sheepish smile. 

You looked at him and nodded softly, “okay. Do you need anything else?” you asked, looking at the pile of covers and pillows placed on the armchair near the couch. 

“Just for you to go to your room,” he feigned a stern look but his eyes glistened with mischief and you chuckled. 

“Fiiiiiine,” you sighed dramatically before pulling yourself up. You only now realized how warm he was because, once you were up, you immediately felt cold despite the respectable distance you had both kept on the couch.

He smiles as you walked towards your bedroom, his eyes never leaving your form. He straightened his back when you turned around, smiling fondly at him. 

“Good night, Bucky.” 

He mirrored your smile and nodded, “Good night, Y/N.”

You pushed your door close behind you, leaving it ajar so you could feel like he was still a bit with you. You slipped into your bed and turned off the light as Bucky turned off the tv. You took a moment listening to him moving around to set the sheet on the couch and you heard him fumble with the covers a bit before settling down. 

Smiling in the dark, you rolled on your side so you were facing the door. Even if you couldn’t see him, you pictured him and his too large frame for your couch. And knowing that he was in the next room made your muscles relax and give in to sleep faster than you though.

Bucky was lying on his side, facing the front door, silently challenging it to open itself and dare disturb your sleep. However, if he was staring at the door, his ears were focused on your room. 

According to your slower heartbeat and breathing, you had just entered your second stage of sleep and he almost envied you for finding sleep so easily. But Bucky knew that it could mean that you trusted him enough to let your guards around him and this idea made his lips curl up into such a goofy smile it would fuel Sam’s teasing for days.

The former soldier focused on your breathing and heartbeat a large part of the night, his ears pricking up every time he thought you were getting agitated or woke up. Fortunately, every time, you ended up letting out a soft sigh and rolled on your other side. The sound echoed deep within him every single time and he knew it would haunt him days and nights. That sound of content, so soft, meaning that you felt safe. He made you feel safe and, for a second, he felt like it was the greatest of his accomplishment. Because you, this pure and sweet girl who barely knew him but still trusted him, you had taught him how to smile again. 

Slowly, he let himself drift to sleep, still aware of each sound coming from your room and every coming and going in the lobby.

You surprisingly woke up rested the next morning. After a long and unladylike yawn, you stretched your body, letting out a heavy sigh. You sat up in your bed, confused as to why you felt like something was different. You checked the time but you woke up before your alarm, like every other day, so you weren’t late. You shrugged, thinking that your probably just needed coffee. 

When you opened the door, you muffled a gasp when you saw the super soldier’s heavy form dead asleep on your couch. He was sleeping on his side, his face pressed in the pillow he was holding tight against him. His hair covered most of his face but, by the light snore you could hear, you knew he was sleeping.

Memories of the previous night rushed to your mind and your eyes flew to the door that was still holding close thanks to a piece of furniture behind it. You quickly looked back at Bucky and your eyes were drawn to the knife placed on the coffee table. It wasn’t a kitchen knife and it definitely wasn’t yours. Your heart beat faster in your chest when you realized that Bucky was actually armed. He had brought a weapon to protect you from the intruders. You silently thanked him again, grateful that he was home when you asked for help.

You silently walked to the kitchen, thinking he deserved at least a proper breakfast as a thank you but living in an apartment that had an open kitchen, it turned out to be more difficult than expected to cook without waking him up. 

As your coffee machine poured the heavenly beverage into your favorite mug, you noticed Bucky’s head peeking over the back of the couch, only one eye open. You bit your lip at how adorable he looked. Even though “adorable” was an adjective you never thought you’d use to describe your neighbor when you first met him. But right now, it was the most accurate description.

“Morning,” you chuckled, flipping over the pancake on the pan, “sorry I woke you up, I hope coffee and pancakes will make it better.” 

Bucky had never been a morning person. But right now, looking at you with your hair still a bit messy, your signature smile and the smell of pancakes and coffee tickling his nostrils, he thought that, in the end, morning could be his favorite thing now. 

“Morning,” he groaned, offering you a sleepy smile and slowly getting up from the couch. He surprisingly slept through most of the night, a light but resting and dreamless sleep. The first one since Steve left which was a relief because waking you up by yelling in the middle of the night might have been awkward for you.

After placing the pancake on a plate and pouring some batter in the pan again, you took your favorite mug now filled with coffee and handed it to Bucky who just entered the room. 

“You look like the kind of guy who drinks his coffee black, but if you need sugar and cream, please help yourself,” you pointed at the pantry and the fridge. 

Bucky shook his head, “I do drink my coffee black, thank you,” he smiled softly at you, running his hand through the nest that had formed atop of his head during the night. 

“You’re welcome,” you smiled back, trying to ignore how your stomach twitched every time his lips curled up at you.

You placed the last pancake on your plate and handed him the other one. “How comes it looks like I have twice as many pancakes as you?” he chuckled, following you to the table where you already set the butter, strawberry jam and nutella. 

“It’s my way of saying thank you for last night, you were a lifesaver,” you shrugged, sitting down.

Bucky’s heart grew warm when he saw nothing but sincerity in your eyes and he had to admit he was almost grateful that the burglary happened because he wasn’t sure he would have had the guts to talk to you otherwise despite Steve’s constant solicitation. 

“No need to thank me, really. I’m happy I was there,” he said. 

You looked at each other for a while until your cheeks started to warm up and you looked away, pointing at his plate. “Enjoy it while it’s hot.” 

Bucky nodded, embarrassed to have let himself get lost into your so easily and hungrily started digging in the pile of pancake.

You started chatting, the previous night you got curious about the whole Avenger lifestyle and missions so he docilely answered. This morning it was his turn to be curious. He tried to pretend not to know all the things Steve already told him. 

Bucky couldn’t help but admire how much effort you put into your work and how passionate you looked when you talked about it. As you talked, your phone rang and the brunet mentally cursed whoever dared cut your mid-sentence and keep him from enjoying how proudly you were beaming. 

It was your landlord answering the voicemail you had left him the night before. He was coming over in less than an hour to fix your door. And you still had to call your boss to explain that you might be a little bit delayed on today schedule. But you knew yourself, you could do it.

In a comfortable silence, Bucky helped you clean up the kitchen and folded the covers and sheet you had lended him before placing it neatly in the armchair. He picked up his knife, his phone and put them into his pocket while you stood in the middle on the living room, not really knowing what to say or do with yourself because you had already thanked him a thousand times. 

You followed him as he walked to the door and pushed the piece of furniture aside, giving him just enough space to slip out of your apartment. But for now he was still inside, looking for a valid excuse to stay longer although he couldn’t come up with anything. 

“Disney!” you exclaimed abruptly, making Buck’s brow raising in surprise. 

You mentally slapped yourself and chuckled nervously. 

“I meant, you told me Steve was away until at least the rest of the week. So if you’re bored or you want to come by, one night, you could catch up on other Disney movies you’ve missed,” you said, uncertain and immediately regretting the words that had fell off your mouth. He was probably taking you for a psycho now. You barely knew each other and here you were, inviting him over after he had to babysit you. 

“Stark keeps referring to me as Olaf and I’m pretty sure it’s a Disney reference, isn’t it?” Bucky asked, a boyish smile playing on his lips and you had to keep yourself from laughing by biting your tongue. 

You cleared your throat and nodded, “from Frozen, yeah,” you gave him an apologetic smile that made him laugh softly. God, you looked adorable. Again.

He felt like his heart was about to jump out of his chest with each minute that passed in your company. Steve hadn’t lied when he had said that you were probably one of the sweetest person he had met. And how you managed to make Bucky comfortable and nervous at the same time was a mystery to him.

“I happen to have Frozen and pizza. You know, if you don’t know what to do tonight,” you said, somehow feeling like Bucky wouldn’t mind spending another evening here. 

His face lit up at the proposition and he nodded a bit too eagerly to his liking. 

“I’d love to,” he breathed out and you heart fluttered in your chest. 

“See you tonight, then?” you asked, trying to hide your giddiness.

“See you tonight, Y/N.” Bucky looked at you for a second too long before waving awkwardly. 

Deciding he had already made too much of a fool of himself for today so he swiftly slipped out of your place. You chuckled and bit your lip, waiting for him to get home before pushing the piece of furniture behind the door again, already dying to be tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

To say that you and Bucky had fell into a routine in a couple days would have been an understatement. The first night, Bucky had came back to watch Frozen with you. You had had difficulties to hold back your laughters when he started muttering in Russian under his breath when he saw Olaf appearing on screen. 

“Come on, Olaf is really cute and funny and devoted to his friends! It’s a rather nice compliment Stark did to you!” you argued, muffling a giggle. 

Bucky had glared at you but his lips were dancing on the edge of a smile at your amused tone. 

“He’s a damn snowman!” 

You shook your head, happy to feel like this was the most natural thing in the world, Bucky and you, slouched on your couch with an empty pizza box on the coffee table.

After the movie, you had quickly resumed to show him your favorite Disney movie. And during the watching, Bucky was pretty sure his heart was about to crack his chest open from swelling up so much when he saw your lips moving to recite the dialogues or sing along with the characters. You were too focus in the movie to even notice his staring. 

After the movie, you had chatted a while and it was almost too naturally that you proposed him to stay the night if he wanted. He was surprised at first, confused as too why you wanted him to stay over since your door locked properly, making you safe again from any burglar. So when the thought that you might just actually simply enjoy his presence crossed his mind, his face completely lit up. He agreed, noticing just now that you had never put the sheet away after he left this morning, they were still on the armchair.

And that was how Bucky had spent Thursday night as well as Friday night on your couch. Steve was still away anyway so Bucky would much rather be here with you than alone at his place. 

Right now it was Saturday morning and you were spreading strawberry jam on your toast as Bucky silently sipped on his coffee. You took a bite of toast, smiling softly at how domestic you two looked right now. 

“Bucky,” you brought him of his thought. His piercing eyes shifted up in your direction and he offered you a sleepy smile, humming to indicate that you had his attention. 

“Do you have anything planned today?” 

He shook his head, curious as to what you had in mind. “Not much, nothing mandatory, why?” 

You grinned at him and put down your toast to look at him seriously.

“I’ve been thinking about adopting a dog for months and with everything that happened, I kinda want to do it more than ever now. And I was wondering if you’d like to come with me to the shelter to help me pick one.” 

Bucky quirked a brow, flattered that you thought about him for this mission “Really?” he asked. 

You nodded, “I need someone to make sure I don’t end up adopting the entire shelter,” you said sheepishly, making Bucky laugh heartily. He didn’t even know he was capable of laughing before noon before meeting you. 

“Well, then I guess it’d be really dangerous to let you unsupervised, wouldn’t it?” he teased. You snorted an unladylike laugh, “I think you don’t realize just how dangerous it would be. All you other missions would look like a walk in the park compared to me surrounded by abandoned animals waiting for a new home.”

Bucky scrunched his nose as he shook his head at you, chuckling deeply. You were so adorable it was almost infuriating how much he loved it. 

“So you do got a thing for strays,” he smirked before taking another sip of his coffee. 

The way his lips curled up made your stomach twitch and, to your dismay, it took you a second too long to gain your composure back. 

“I think I do. I love to keep them on my couch and feed them so good they don’t want to leave ever again.” Surprised by your own boldness, you hid your embarrassment behind a wide, confident grin that made Bucky’s heart flutter in his chest. 

“You’re too clever for your own good, doll,” he chuckled.

You mentally slapped yourself when a giggle ran past your lips. You giggled! Trying to gather yourself, you cleared your throat and focused on your mug, slightly shifting in your chair. When Bucky noticed how flustered you looked, he felt his heart swelling up in his chest at being able to evoke such a reaction from you. Confidence shot through his veins at the way you were biting your bottom lip and he chuckled softly. He knew he could never say no to spending more time with you, especially when you specifically asked him to be here. So after breakfast, he went to his place to get ready, leaving you time to shower as well before making your way to the closest shelter.

The employee introduced herself as Mia and she tried to explain you how everything happened around there but your eyes and ears were already drawn to the back where you could see and hear the dog whining, barking and playing together. 

You started to feel overwhelmed because you knew it would be impossible to pick just one. Sensing your nervousness, Bucky made sure to carefully listen to Mia, his hand twitching to reach for yours for reassurance but he shoved it deeper in his pocket instead.

When her speech was over, Mia looked at you with a bright smile, “are you guys ready?” 

Your breathing hitched and you automatically reached for Bucky’s arm. Under the several layers of clothes he was wearing, the metal didn’t stand out that much, you barely noticed it as you clang on the material of his jacket. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest and whether it was caused by the anticipation to finally have that dog you’ve been dreaming of for years, or your proximity with Bucky, it was a mystery.

Bucky, on the other end, was about to throw up. You took him by surprise. Your grip around him was tight but the seek of comfort behind it warmed his heart. You gripped his metal arm as if it was a normal one and you didn’t even seem to care about it. You simply smiled and nodded at Mia, indicating her that you were indeed ready. When Mia looked at Bucky, he did his best to ignore how warm and soft you felt against his arm and nodded as well.

You both docilely followed Mia as she opened the glass door that lead to large room where the dogs were playing. You couldn’t help but laugh heartily when they all ran in your direction to greet you happily. If you weren’t clinging so hard on Bucky’s arm, you probably would have lost your balance when 3 dogs jumped on you. 

Once you were sure you were steady on your feet, you slowly let go of Bucky to start petting the dogs, your heart filled with love and regret not to be able to offer them all a new home. Bucky smiled softly as he saw you kneeling down to talk to the dogs, a few of them immediately sitting down in front of you.

There was so much love and softness radiating from you, Bucky swore he could touch it if he tried. It was only when you turned in his direction, smiling bright and eyes shining with tears that he noticed he was staring. 

“You’re not bringing them all,” he pretended to give you a stern look. You faked a pout and his heart almost gave out. “You’re my mission today, Y/N. I’ll fight you,” a his lips threatened to break into a smile and he wondered how someone could look that genuinely happy all the time.

Your eyes fell to his feet and he followed your stare only to notice a dark, mixed-race dog about the size of a labrador sniffing at his shoes, curious. 

“Looks like the strays end up finding each other,” you teased as Bucky kneeled to present his hand to the dog. 

The dog automatically took a few steps back, bending his head and shaking as if he was expecting to receive a hit and both your hearts clenched in your chests. Bucky immediately pulled his hand back, his blood burning in his veins from having scared the dog. 

“Brooklyn went through a lot,” Mia’s voice made you remember she was still in the room. 

Your heart sinked lower in your chest and it was when you realized that the dog’s body was covered with now healed scars on his body and a piece of his ear was missing. Bucky couldn’t tear his eyes from Brooklyn who didn’t dare looking at him in the eyes and his stomach tightened from being the cause of his fear. 

The former soldier hated to admit he could recognize himself in a dog but it was the truth, he did. He used to considered himself as a stay too. He too was physically and emotionally abused, scarred for life, terrified of strangers and his own past.

“Poor angel,” you cooed, slowly extending your hand in Brooklyn’s direction.

The dog looked at you, his big brown eyes trying to figure out if you and Bucky could be as trust worthy as Mia. 

“Hey little buddy, I won’t hurt you, I promise,” your voice remained low not to startle him. You noticed Brooklyn’s head raising and tilting in curiosity. 

Bucky looked at you, mesmerized by how you managed to soothe every bruised soul around you. Everybody is the room seemed to be holding their breath as Brooklyn took careful step in your direction, then another, and another. Even the other dogs had stopped moving around you as you smiled brightly at the stray, encouraging him softly.

Brooklyn’s focus was only on you and you felt your heart beating faster and faster as the dog came closer. When you hand was near his face, you didn’t move to allow him to sniffed it, trying to evaluate if you could be trusted. He shoot a glance at Bucky who seemed to have forgotten how to breathe, petrified to scare him again. 

When Brooklyn looked back at you, he started to slowly wave his tail and he nuzzled your hand, stepping even closer to allow you to stroke him. You chuckled softly, feeling happy tears prickling your eyelids.

When you laughed, Brooklyn moved his tail even faster and stepped closer to sniff your face before affectionately licking your cheek. You eagerly petted him, laughing again. 

“Hi, Brooklyn, my name’s Y/N and I think I just fell in love with you!” 

Bucky looked at the two of you, a stupid smile on his lips as he realized that there was nobody on this damn planet who could resist your smile nor your kindness. And that included him as well. 

The other dogs started to walk around the three of you, wanting to join the cuddle party and Mia laughed, not waiting for you to officially say it before she told you she was going to edit the adoption papers.

You looked at Bucky, your eyes shining with happy tears and your heart skipped a beat when you noticed how wide he was smiling. When Brooklyn noticed your attention had shifted, he followed your gaze. Bucky looked at Brooklyn and gave him an apologetic look. 

The dog looked at Bucky intently, trying to reevaluate him. But if Bucky was with you, it meant it was safe, right? Because you seemed kind and loving, nothing like the man who used to own him. Brooklyn stepped back from you before walking towards Bucky who immediately tensed, afraid to scare him again.

“It’s okay,” you didn’t know which one you tried to reassure but they both carefully moved towards each other. 

This time, Brooklyn didn’t shy away when Bucky extended his hand, allowing the dog to sniff his attention towards you and him. When the dog reacted just like he did with you, the former Winter Soldier felt his heart melting and he started to pet him, chuckling heartily. 

“Hi, Brooklyn. My name’s Bucky and I’m sorry I scared you earlier. I know you’ve been through a lot but with a mom like Y/N, I promise you’ll be alright.” 

Bucky looked in your direction as Brooklyn gave him an affectionate lick on half of his face and you felt like your cheeks were about to crack from smiling so much. There was such affection shining in Bucky’s eyes, you felt it warm you up from the inside, deep in your bones.

“I’m just that good with strays,” you chuckled, trying to blink your happy tears away. 

Bucky laughed and nodded, “that you are.” 

You shared a moment, smiling at each other, surrounded by ecstatic dogs. When your face started to crumble, Bucky’s brows knitted together in confusion. 

“What?” 

You looked around the room before looking back at him, “I can’t save them all,” you said as if realization just struck you. The former soldier had difficulties holding back the heartfelt smile that threatened to creep up his lips. 

“Doll, you probably saved the less likely to be saved today and you’re offering him a new life, that’s pretty great life saving for one day, don’t you think?”

Bucky’s undertone was filled with something indicating you he wasn’t only talking about Brooklyn and you couldn’t help but offer him a sad smile. 

“I guess you’re right,” you nodded. 

The dog head-butted your cheek, making you chuckle and you couldn’t help but admit to yourself that Bucky was one hundred percent right.

Bucky didn’t know which one of you was the most in awe as you walked down the streets of New York to come home, you or Brooklyn. The dog, even if he was afraid of too loud noises or leaving your side for more than one feet, was still curious and stopped every two second to discover a new smell or greet another furry fellow. And you kept giggling and smacking Bucky’s arm, urging him to look at Brooklyn’s behavior and discoveries.

The former Winter Soldier was a gentleman enough to carry all the dog necessities you bought on the way from the shelter. One large bag of dog food perched up on his shoulder, his other hand carrying several paper bags as if it weighted nothing to him. You had Brooklyn future bed tucked under the arm that wasn’t holding the leash and Bucky kept teasing you about the fact that the bed was almost as big as you.

“Stop being so rude!” you huffed in the elevator as the door opened to your floor. 

“I’m not rude! I’m making a statement!” Bucky protested and you both laughed heartily. You didn’t remember the last time you had felt so light. 

The three of you walked towards your apartment and you had difficulties holding back your excitement to show Brooklyn his new home. And, as you were about to slip the key in the lock, the dog’s ears perked up and he turned his attention to the door on the other side of the elevator. 

You and Bucky followed his gaze and you were meet with none other than Captain America himself, leaning against the doorframe of his apartment, his arms crossed over his chest and an amused smile was playing on his lips as he took you in.

“So Mrs. Donovan from downstairs was right, you did both leave together this morning,” Steve said, his tone dripping with playfulness despite his tired features. 

Bucky couldn’t help the nervous chuckle that escaped his lips as he dropped the heavy bags near your door. “Hey Punk, you’re back early!” he greeted his friend. 

They both walked in each other direction and exchanged a hug and a few back pats. 

“I leave for a few days and you adopt a dog with the neighbor?” Steve chuckled in Bucky’s ear. 

Bucky felt his face turning red like every time it did when his friend teased him about you. But it was the first time you were there when he did so. 

“Shut the fuck up or I’ll murder you in your sleep, no trigger words needed for that,” Bucky mumbled through gritted teeth before they both turned back to you.

Brooklyn was sitting at your feet, looking as attentively as you at the guys’ interaction and you couldn’t help but smile wide, feeling privileged to share such candid moments with them. 

“Hey, Steve, it’s been a while,” you said, waving at him. 

The two of them walked in your direction as Steve chuckled, “oh, yeah, and I feel like I missed a few episodes.” 

As he came closer, Brooklyn got up on his feet, growling defensively to keep Steve from coming close to you. Your eyes widened and you immediately placed your hand on Brooklyn’s head, assuring him it was okay.

Bucky and you looked at each other, confused as too why the dog growled at Steve. You apologized to the Captain. 

“It’s alright, he’s just protecting you,” Steve assured you, waiting for Brooklyn to relax before introducing himself to the dog. 

It took a few seconds for Brooklyn to inspect Steve and allow him closer. But once the inspection was made, the dog waved his tail eagerly when the blond found that soft sweet behind his ear. You immediately relaxed even if you still didn’t understand why, if Brooklyn was protecting you specifically, he didn’t growl at Bucky. He had backed away but hadn’t growled.

You were brought of your questioning by Bucky calling your name. “We should get inside and give Brooklyn a bath like Mia told us, or your place is going to smell like the shelter.” 

You nodded, quickly resuming in opening the door.

“Come on in, Steve. Bucky is cooking for lunch and you look like you need a good home cooked meal,” you gestured the blond inside your apartment. He let himself in, already preparing the thousand questions he was going to ask Bucky the second they will leave your place. If Bucky ever left your place because it looked like their shared apartment had been empty for a few days.


	4. Chapter 4

It was early when Bucky woke up from a nightmare. He inhaled sharply, blinking a few times and staring at the ceiling, desperately trying to calm down his erratic heartbeat. His mind was a blur, the only thing he could hear over his pounding heart was your voice, shouting, calling him a monster. The hatred in your eyes when you had pushed him away was so real, he could almost still feel your hands on his chest as you did everything to keep him away from you. 

Tonight had been his first nightmare in weeks. His upcoming mission was gnawing on the back of his mind more that he thought it would. The first one since everything settled down, since he started a normal life again. Since you two met.

A soft whine caught the former soldier’s attention, followed by a something soft tickling his neck. Brooklyn must have joined him during the night, like he always did. He liked to be with you when you fell asleep, until your stroke became slower and slower. And later, he joined the brunet on the couch that could barely hold Bucky’s large frame. So the dog did his best to squeeze himself between him and the back of the couch. You might have caught them once or twice in the past weeks and snapped a few pictures without Bucky knowing.

Brooklyn nuzzled Bucky’s cheek with his wet nose. Bucky sighed heavily and scratched the dog’s ear, trying his best to grasp on any physical sensation to ground himself. The coolness of the dog’s nose against his burning skin, his thick and heavy fur, the familiar softness of your couch. 

It took Bucky barely a second of focus to catch the sound of your heartbeat in your room. You were right here and asleep. But his chest still felt heavy from the nightmare because for a moment he had lost you. As imaginary as it was, you had been scared of him. You had learned everything he did and you feared for your life. He wasn’t protecting you anymore. You didn’t feel safe around him anymore. Bucky shuddered when images of you crying and screaming at him that you hated him flashed through his mind. 

His past with Hydra wasn’t something you both really talked about. You clearly knew enough because you sometimes asked him random questions about his life in Romania, about his life before the war. But it was never questions about the atrocities he did. 

No, you only wanted to know about him, about what he liked, what he used to do in the forties, about the people he knew. You never once asked about the Winter Soldier. You only asked about James. About Bucky. Sometimes about Steve. But whether it was because you weren’t comfortable or simply didn’t care, Bucky couldn’t tell.

Bored by Bucky’s scratching, Brooklyn huffed, letting out a muffled whine again. They both exchange a look and the former Winter Soldier felt himself melting at the big brown eyes that probably were the reason the expression “puppy eyes” even existed. 

“You hungry, huh?” still filled with sleep, Bucky’s voice was deeper than usual. The dog lifted and tilted his head, indicating the brunet that he had his attention and Bucky chuckled softly, “you bottomless pit.”

Bucky stretched his body, feeling like an actual 100 years old when each of his muscles screamed at him for sleeping on such a small couch. 

The dog jumped off him and paced around the couch, waving his tail happily at the prospect of breakfast. It was usually you who woke up first, but since he was up, Bucky thought he could cook breakfast for once. 

After giving Brooklyn his food, the brunet started to work on your breakfast and decided to cook one of the only two things he was actually good at.

He knew you schedule schedule enough to know that, the second he’d place the last pancake on your plate, you’d appear in the room. 

“Oh gosh! It smells delicious in here!“ You chuckled sleepily, offering Bucky a smile. 

The sight of you with your messy hair and the faint mark of your pillow on the side of your face made his heart flutter in his chest. 

“Morning,” Bucky chuckled, placing the plate on the table. 

“Who did you hire to do all of that?” you asked, sitting down and realizing that there was nothing better than waking up with breakfast ready and Bucky’s smile. 

Brooklyn waited for you to be sitting down to greet you at well, presenting you his backside for his favorite scratching. You chuckled and complied, leaning to kiss his head. 

“Morning, baby,” you cooed at the dog.

“Are you insinuating I can’t cook pancakes?” Bucky gasped, feigning offense as he sat down in front of you. 

He took his mug and tried to push his nightmare in the back of his mind. You were here, smiling and being as sweet as usual. Everything was fine. 

You promised Brooklyn to keep on petting him after your breakfast and the dog walked to his bowl, looking for more food as you straightened your back to focus on your own breakfast. 

“It’s just too good to be true,” you teased, taking the strawberry jam jar to spread some on the pancakes.

Bucky followed each of your movement with his eyes, your routine now well drilled in his mind and helping him to focus on the present moment. On reality. He looked at you take the first bite of food and sighing in content. 

“My pancakes are a disgrace compared to those! I’m sorry but from now on I’ll expect you to cook breakfast for me whenever you’re here, sergeant!” You chuckled. 

But the smile Bucky shoot you didn’t seem right. Despite your playfulness and the nickname, it didn’t reach his eyes. It didn’t make your heart flutter. No, it made it ache.

“Bucky, is everything alright?” you asked, feeling your concern growing. The last time he had looked at you like that, he announced you that he was going back on the field. 

It was a few days ago and, after asking him how he was feeling about it, he had assured you he was fine, thrilled, excited even. So you had decided to support his decision, no matter how worried you were. No matter how scared you were that he got injured, killed, or worse, triggered.

You knew it wasn’t possible anymore. You knew Shuri had rebooted Bucky’s brain back in Wakanda and erased anything Hydra might had planted there. It was part of the public announcement and the many TV shows and reports that you had stumbled upon after the team defeated Thanos last year. The authorities had thought explaining what Bucky went through would help the general audience understand that he wasn’t a monster and to help him fit into society again.

But you weren’t blind and neither was Bucky. You could see some people throwing daggers at him when you were walking down the streets. No matter how normal and harmless he looked while holding Brooklyn’s leash and smiling as he told you about Sam punching his metal arm during training and hurting himself, some people still saw him as a threat. 

Fortunately, these people were a minority. Most people offered him a shy smile, when they managed to catch his eye. Bucky always did his best to focus on anything but people around him, he always tried to be invisible. But you felt like the former Winter Soldier had made a lot progress during the past weeks so knowing he was going back to risking his life wasn’t what you were absolutely looking forwards to. And, as selfish at it sounded, you were also used to have his reassuring presence around now. Whether it was on your couch or next door, him being there meant he was safe, that you were safe.

Noticing Bucky’s evasive nod and tendency to avoid looking at you in the eyes, your brows knitted together further in concern and confusion. You softly called his name, not liking how inscrutable his face was turning. 

Bucky’s mind was at war. Flashes of his nightmare flooding his head, overshadowing the softness of your tone. You noticed his right knuckles turning white from the tight hold around his mug and your heart rate speeded up in concern. 

“Bucky, please talk to me,” your almost pleading tone surprised the two of you.

Bucky’s eyes flew to your face and he felt guilt tugging at his heart to be the reason you looked so confused, almost sad. He offered you a sad smile before mumbling an apology. 

You shook your head, “there’s nothing to be sorry for. But why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you so much? I know I can’t really go after people with a knife or a gun like you do but I have many more talents.” The playful smile that danced on your lips made Bucky chuckle sadly and reminded him why he cared so much about you, why he was so afraid to lose you.

In the few weeks you two had started to know each other, you had managed to help him find a mental peace and stability he didn’t know he was capable of. Your innocence and genuine love for life was so refreshing, it reminded him of his life before the war, of when he was his old self. The way you talked to Brooklyn as if he could understand or answer you, the way you always hummed a different melody each day, the way for each time you complained about something that happened to you that day, you would immediately find something that also made you smile. God, that smile of yours.

You were like a breath of fresh air to him. You made him want to see the world differently, to believe he could be a better person. You made him believe he would be okay. 

“I had a nightmare.” 

His voice was barely a whisper and, as he spoke the words, his eyes focused back on mug between his hands. 

“Oh…” was all you managed you say. A soft gasp that had ran past your lips to express your surprise and helplessness. 

You had figured Bucky had them from the beginning. He was suffering from PTSD, at least you thought, so nightmares were obviously part of the deal. But it was the first time he told you about it or looked so affected by it.

The truth was, Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he had a nightmare before last night. Because with you had came the peace of mind. But now he had to go back on the field and. And, as excited as he was to go, he had to face the truth: he was a dangerous being. 

“Bucky, it wasn’t real. You’re safe now,” you assured him, your voice was as soft as usual. 

Of course you thought his nightmare was about him being in danger, why wouldn’t you? Bucky shook his head, scoffing lightly and making your confusion grow even more. 

He took a deep breath. “It wasn’t about me,” he paused for a second and took a deep breath, “it was about you. I… I lost you.” 

The second the words escaped his lips, Bucky regretted them. He couldn’t look you in the eyes, missing your brow shooting up in surprise. His fear of tainting you and your life with his past made him want to crawl into a whole and disappear. 

“What? Me?” 

Bucky wanted to smack himself in the face from having opened his mouth because now he had to explain himself to you. Still avoiding your eyes, Bucky sighed deeply. 

“Yeah, you… you learned all the things I’ve done with Hydra and you were so scared you didn’t want to hear from me again. Because I am monster.” 

His voice lowered with each word he spoke, making the last one barely audible but you heard it nonetheless and it cut deep into your heart because of all the things Bucky could be, a monster was definitely not on the list.

“Bucky,” you sighed, devastated that he could ever think you would consider him a monster. “Bucky, you’re not a monster. You know it and I know it.” 

Tired of seeing him avoiding your eyes, you stood up from your chair and walked around the table until you were standing next to him. He looked small, almost fragile. All you wanted to do was take him in your arms. 

Slowly, you placed your hand on his mug and forced him to put it down on the table. Bucky didn’t fight you, too painfully aware of your proximity. Every single of his nerves were stinging from the heat radiating off your body.

You suppressed your urge to run your hand through his long locks, placing your hand on his instead. “Bucky, please look at me,” you pled softly. 

Your voice touched him so deeply, he didn’t have the heart to ignore you. Slowly, he turned on his seat to face you and he tilted his face up. His eyes took forever to reach yours but, when they did, the genuine concern and care that was shining took his breath away. 

Despite how miserable you were to see him suffering like he was, you offered him a smile. Ignoring everything about boudaries and personal space, you softly cupped his face. The roughness of his stubble tickled your palms as much as your touch made his skin tickle. 

“You’re going to listen to me very carefully, James Buchanan Barnes.” 

The use of his full name mixed with the softness of your voice made one of his lip corner lift up a little. 

“You are the most human, kind, selfless person I’ve ever met, and I’ve met Captain America,” he snorted a laugh. “You literally came here to check I wasn’t in danger even if we barely knew each other. You stayed the night to protect me. That’s not something a monster would do because you are certainly not a monster. And nothing you’ve done could make me think otherwise or stop me from caring deeply for you because you are not the Winter Soldier, you are James Buchanan Barnes and you deserve so much better than you think you do. You are so much more than you think you are.”

Bucky’s face distorted with all the emotions battling inside of him. Your words, your voice, your touch, everything about you touched him deeply in places he didn’t know still existed. It wad only when he felt your thumbs brushing his tears away that he realized he was overwhelmed by this amount kindness and humanity directed at him. 

Your own eyes were filled with tears, moved that he would allow himself to let his guards down in front of you. “It kills me to see that you don’t realize how wonderful you are. And if you allow me to stay a little longer by your side, I promise to remind you every single day until you’re tired of me if it’s what it takes for you to believe me.”

A strangled chuckle ran past his lips and he swore his heart was about to give out. He had been trained enough in his life to be able to detect no lie in your eyes. Bucky wondered how you could be so gentle yet assertive in your words. Because, right now, his nightmare was a long forgotten memory and he believed you. He believed every single word you spoke. He believed he wasn’t what Hydra made him anymore. He wasn’t a monster because you didn’t see him as a monster. His heart was pounding in his chest and ears, it was all he could hear. You had managed to make his loudest thought quiet.

After a moment of silence where Bucky was so lost in your eyes you felt like he could read all your deepest, darkest secrets, he managed to whisper, “I really want to kiss you right now.” 

Your lips parted in surprise as your heart bursted out of your chest and the air was knocked out of your lungs. You couldn’t have held back the breathless giggle that ran past your lips if you had tried, happiness and excitement rushing through your veins.

“Then what are you waiting for? Permission granted, Sarge,” you whispered.

A shiver ran up Bucky’s spine and he felt his entire being warming up. His lips curled up into a smile and he licked his lip nervously, not remembering the last time he had shared a kiss with someone. 

You noticed his nervousness and chuckled softly before slowly leaning in his direction and you stopped right as your lips were about to touch. A smirk creeped your lips when you felt a frustrated groan rumbling through his chest. Anticipation was making each nerve of his body tickle, yet he felt brave enough to close the minimal distance between your lips.

Ever so softly, Bucky pressed his lips against yours. The taste of strawberry jam was still lingering on your lips and made this first kiss even more memorable to him. A deep growl of satisfaction escaped him as his hands found your hips to pull you closer to him. 

You sighed in deep content, your arms automatically wrapping themselves around his neck, flushing yourself impossibly close to him. Bucky realized that he probably wasn’t as rusted as he thought he was when his tongue ran across your bottom lip without him knowing, silently begging you for more access. He would definitely define the whimper that ran past your lips as music to his ears, and a tad obscene. He was obsessed with it.

Bucky was pretty sure he had never felt more alive than at the exact moment your tongue brushed against his for the first time. His hands traveled up painfully slow from your hips to your waist, your scorching hot skin clashing with the coldness of the metal of his hand through the thin fabric of your shirt. 

Absolutely lost in his bliss and his desperate crave to deepen the kiss even further, to discover each sound you could make, to taste every single inch of your skin, you both jump out of your skins when the doorbell rang.

The screeching sound felt like a cold shower and caused you both to part and stare at each other, panting. You looked into each other’s eyes, trying to evaluate whether or not it was a mistake. But it felt too right for it to be a mistake. Your body against his, the taste of his tongue, the way your lips were so invitingly swollen. 

Bucky ran his tongue across his bottom lip, looking for any remaining of the sweetness of the strawberry jam he had tasted on your own lips. Your eyes fell on his lips and you felt that familiar urge to discover how his mouth would feel on your skin. Bucky noticed were you were looking at and he smiled ever so softly. 

“Thank you for your permission, doll,” he teased, making you chuckle breathlessly.

“Consider yourself always authorized to kiss me. No, forget that. It’s your duty, Sarge. Kissing me like that is your mission from now on,” you quirked a playful brow and Bucky bit his bottom lip to keep himself from groaning. 

“Fuck, Y/N, you truly are out of this world.” The fondness in his voice made you heart skip a beat and, as you were leaning to kiss him again, Steve’s voice erupted from the other side of the door. 

“I’m not giving Bucky another excuse to desert our place by breaking this door. Come on, punk! You know we have a briefing this morning!” Brooklyn muffled a woof as he tilted his head left and right at the door.

“Shit,” Bucky groaned, as you rested you head on his shoulder and started giggling in his neck. The feeling of your breath against his skin set his entire body on fire. 

“So, do you mind holding that thought until tonight?” he asked, quirking a brow. 

“Can’t wait already,” you pressed a kiss on his neck, slowly working your way up to his lips and you felt his fingers digging deeper in your flesh. “But he’s about to break that door,” you mumbled against his lips. 

“Another valid excuse for me to spend the night here, then,” he grinned.

“Perfect, but no more sleeping on the couch.”


End file.
